Midnight Confessions and Awkward Situations
by TumblingTroublesomeTumbleweeds
Summary: Jushiro Ukitake falls ill and Kushira takes care of him. What happens when, in a fever-induced haze he confesses his love? Awkward situations arise with meddling best friends and overly curious Shinigami Ukitake/OC hopefully sort of funny.
1. Chapter 1: Caretaker

Chapter 1: Caretaker

It was not long after Jushiro Ukitake had invited her to his family's estate when he fell ill. Kushira Hikamara knew of his illness, tuberculosis, and when she found him collapsed by the lake she had the servants carry him up to his room.

"He's burning up" Kushira said as they laid him in the bed and the maids hovered nervously "what do we do?" one asked "he's never been this bad" "we need to get his shirt off" she said "get his shirt off and open a window" the maid nodded and went to the window while Kushira bent down.

As her trembling fingers undid his shirt she could feel the heat radiating from his body "can you please get me a bucket of cold water and two wash cloths?" she asked the maid who nodded. Kushira had his shirt off and had pulled all the blankets except for one thin sheet down to the edge of the bed.

The maid returned with the bucket and Kushira thanked her with a smile. She wrung out the wash cloths and placed it on his chest and forehead. His breathing eased almost immediately. The maid looked at Kushira like she was a savior "he'll be okay" she reassured the maid.

He slept through the next few nights and when Kushira checked on him the fourth night his fever had abated slightly and he was awake albeit in a stupor "how are you feeling?" she sat down on the edge of the bed.

He blinked once, his green eyes glazed from the fever and bolted up coughing furiously, blood staining his hand and face. Once he had lain back down, she gently brushed his bangs away from his face as she got up and came back with a bucket of warm water and a washcloth. Dipping it in the bucket she gently wiped the blood from his lips and hand.

He closed his eyes and Kushira thought he had fallen asleep. Putting the washcloth back in the bucket she stood up to leave when he took her hand "what is it?" she whispered turning back to him. He whispered something but she couldn't understand it, she leaned closer and when his mouth was inches from her ear he whispered "please…stay…with…me"

Kushira nodded and watched as he fumbled with the blankets. Kushira realized that he meant he wanted her to get in the bed and so she did pulling the blankets back up. Jushiro turned on his side to look at her "thank…you" he whispered pressing his slightly damp forehead against her temple.

She turned so that her forehead was now touching his and gently stroked the soft white hair until he had fallen into a peaceful sleep arm gently draped over her. For once since Sosuke had left, her loneliness vanished she realized before drifting off to sleep.

"Master Jushiro asked her to stay with him" one of maids whispered to the others who were looking excited "they're sleeping together like a couple!" "Mistress Kushira has been good for him" said another "oh how romantic would it be if they fell in love?" the youngest said dreamily "she took care of him while he was sick and when he got better they fell madly in love and lived happily ever after!"

One of the other maids snorted, she was the oldest and had been with the Ukitake family the longest "come now, Chiya" she said "that is not likely to happen. In all this time, Master Jushiro has never been drawn to anyone romantically" Chiya sighed "I know Rina-san…but it would be wonderful if he were" Rina agreed with that.

All the household staff had come to like Kushira even referring to her as Mistress Kushira behind her back because every time they tried to say it to her she would laugh and say it was just Kushira despite referring to the staff with the honorific suffix 'san'

The five maids all peered in through the crack in the door and looked pleased. Master Jushiro had his arm around Mistress Kushira who was nestled against him and the maids couldn't help but hope for the gentle presence of a woman.

Jushiro opened his eyes blinking in the light. He had somehow gone from the garden to his own bed. He glanced around the room and immediately noted things were slightly different. The closet, which was normally open, had been shut. A window was open sending a relaxing breeze through the room. There was a chair to the right side of his bed and a bucket of water on the nightstand.

He remembered the attack he had in the garden and knew it had been one of the worst "good morning sleepyhead" a female voice spoke from the door and Jushiro looked over to see a tall, slender redhead leaning against the doorframe "how long was I out?" he asked as she came over to him "a week" she sat down on the side of the bed "how are you feeling now?" "good thanks"

Kushira smiled and pressed the back of her hand to his forehead "well your fever's gone which is good" Jushiro smiled back and Kushira stood "I take it you're probably hungry" she said walking towards the door.

Jushiro watched her leave. After a little, he decided to take a shower. Standing in the hot water he wondered just how bad this attack had been. A week was a long time.

When he stepped out of the shower and back into his room he saw a tray of food sitting on the nightstand but Kushira was nowhere to be seen. He toweled his long white hair dry and decided to go looking for her.

On his scouting trip he took in small details that spoke of a woman's touch. He had to say he rather liked the new appeal.

He wandered around the mansion for a little while until finally finding her in the sunroom in the west wing. She was curled up on one of the couches reading a book. She hadn't noticed him and he took the time to observe her. She was wearing a simple turquoise and pink yukata. He had never seen her in casual wear before, and he had to say she looked incredible with her long red hair falling across her shoulders.

Kushira was undoubtedly beautiful with long red hair and bright green eyes contrasting her dark skin but it was her personality he found most appealing. She was kind and respectful to everybody regardless of rank and if someone tried to harm her comrades she wouldn't hesitate to give up her life.

Jushiro Ukitake was a good judge of character and he was never wrong. He also noted that despite her outward, friendly and outgoing appearance she was lonely. Something he had yet to figure out why. Despite having known her since their time at the academy together she had recently become walled off.

Jushiro assumed it was due to the betrayal of Sosuke Aizen who had been her lover at one point and his betrayal sent her into a deep depression.

She glanced up at that moment and smiled "glad to see you walking about" she laughed slightly as he sat down in a chair across from her "I'm feeling much better thanks to you" he said smiling back. Kushira laughed "thank your servants…they are very capable" yet another thing Jushiro found intriguing, she was incredibly humble.

"I am fully aware of that" he laughed "they have taken good care of me in the past but there was something different about this time" Kushira smiled gently "well they also have other tasks and duties. Despite doing their best…and their best was pretty darn good…they couldn't stay with you as much as you needed"

The pair discussed Gotei 13 and Jushiro asked her how she liked her new captain. Kushira smiled sadly "Momo is a good captain but she's not Tosen" Kushira looked out the window and Jushiro understood, the bond between lieutenant and captain was special and the bond that had been between Kushira and Kaname Tosen had been especially strong.

"Well, if you ever want a…change of pace…I'm going to be looking for a new lieutenant soon" that startled Kushira "what happened to Rukia?" she asked and Jushiro laughed "looks like she and Lieutenant Renji Abarai are going to be getting married"

Kushira's jaw dropped "what?" she squeaked "she never told me" she looked a bit put out and Jushiro laughed "they only told their captains…they want it to be a secret for a little longer" Kushira nodded "I can understand that" she said and Jushiro noticed the faraway look in her eyes.

"You and Aizen…" he began and Kushira closed her eyes "yes. We kept it a secret because he wanted to and I made the mistake of trusting him" she studied him "I'm not going to do that again"

Kushira didn't notice the flash of emotion that crossed his green eyes "never again?" he asked quietly and Kushira shook her head "it's better to go through life alone than deal with that kind of betrayal. If we don't have loyalty we have nothing…we have chaos and madness. There is _nothing _that matters more than loyalty to ones comrades"


	2. Chapter 2: Implications?

Chapter 2: Implications

After their little discussion, Jushiro left to ponder what she had said. As he was walking along the edge of the lake tossing bits of food to the carp swimming in circles he felt ill. _Oh no, it's happening again _he thought as he fell to his knees and began coughing violently.

Kushira, hearing the coughing hurried to his side. Kneeling down she put her arm around his shoulders "just relax" she soothed rubbing his back trying to get him to stop coughing "take a deep breath" he took a shuddering breath that only induced coughing.

She helped him up and supported him as they made their way back to the house. When they got inside the maids rushed around them "another attack?" one asked fearfully and Kushira nodded as another maid hurried to assist her.

When they had gotten him upstairs and into his bed, Kushira turned wide green eyes on the maid who helped "thank you Chiya-san" she smiled "could you please get him a cup of tea?" the maid blushed at being referred to with an honorific "of course Mistress Kushira" she said and Kushira laughed "please, just Kushira"

"At least you stopped coughing" she said turning to Jushiro who smiled weakly up at her "they are very fond of you" he said and Kushira raised an eyebrow "who?" "the household staff" Kushira smiled "they're all good people…they're loyal and loyalty goes a long way with me"

Jushiro nodded "I've noticed" he began coughing again and Kushira helped him sit up "she'll be back soon" right as she finished her sentence Chiya came back holding a cup of tea "that was fast" Kushira smiled up at the young maid who blushed at the praise "thank you ma'am" she handed Jushiro the tea who accepted it gratefully.

"Let's let him rest" Kushira said to Chiya who nodded. The two women left the room and Jushiro was left watching in amazement. The household staff hadn't warmed up to anyone as fast as they did to Kushira. It must be her personality, he mused sipping the tea.

Kushira and Chiya had barely shut the door when they were approached by the young assistant chef "how is Master Jushiro doing?" he asked "Monsieur Patiche wants to know" Kushira noticed the sudden blush that crossed Chiya's face when he approached. Making a mental note to ask her about that as soon as the young assistant chef had left she smiled "he should be fine, he's resting right now"

The young man nodded relieved "it's good to see you Chiya" he grinned and disappeared down the stairs.

Kushira turned to the young maid and fixed her with an intense stare "spill" she joked "you like him don't you?" Chiya turned redder "n-no, what gave you that idea?" Kushira laughed "you blushed when he came over…admit it" she grinned and Chiya looked down "please don't say anything" she pleaded "of course not! I keep secrets" she smiled.

Chiya looked relieved "okay I do like him…I've liked Pierre since he and his father began working here" she looked sad "but I think he likes Missy" Kushira raised an eyebrow "what makes you think he likes Missy?" Chiya sighed "he's always talking to her and she's always flirting with him. I'm just not a flirt"

Kushira put her hand on the young woman's arm "listen closely, guys don't always appreciate flirting. Some guys want a girl who's down to earth and has a good sense of humor, you obviously are both. From what I've observed in my short time here Pierre would prefer a no-nonsense, no-frills, low-maintenance girl who can keep him interested over a bubble-head flirt. Now I like Missy a lot and there are guys who like that kind of attention but Pierre doesn't strike me as being that kind"

Chiya looked up at Kushira hopefully "you really think so?" Kushira nodded confidently "I know so" she said and Chiya hugged her "thank you so much Mistress Kushira, you've given me a new hope" Kushira smiled and hugged back "get to know him…you know what would be a good idea?" Chiya looked at her with wide brown eyes "what?" Kushira grinned "ask him to give you a cooking lesson"

Chiya frowned "but I know how to cook" Kushira laughed "I know that, you know that but he doesn't. Ask him to teach you how to make something that's a little more complex. Don't act like a complete idiot though, show that you're understanding it and that you have a knowledge of cooking tools but allow him to show you what to do"

Chiya grinned "I'll definitely do that!" she said excitedly "thank you so much!" she gushed, racing down the stairs almost tripping over them. Kushira laughed at her antics and was about to go down the hall when she heard a voice call her name.

She pushed open the door to Jushiro's room "I couldn't help but hear the discussion with Chiya" he said amused and Kushira blushed "how much did you hear?" she asked and he laughed "everything…but I won't say a word"

Kushira looked relieved "thank you" she smiled sitting on the edge of the bed "that was a really sweet thing you did for Chiya" he smiled. Kushira looked away hiding behind her hair "well I know how she feels" at Jushiro's raised eyebrow she sighed "she loves someone who she doesn't think loves her back"

Jushiro nodded "maybe he does love her back" Kushira looked up startled "what do you mean?" green eyes met green eyes "maybe he does love her back but doesn't want to show it because he's afraid she won't return the feelings"

"It's a vicious cycle" Kushira sighed looking out the window "but maybe one of these days, they'll both realize that the other feels the same way" she glanced sideways at him and he nodded "maybe"

They sat in silence, each one wrapped in their own thoughts. Was there an ulterior motive for this conversation? Was it an attempt at telling each other how they felt? Oh the confusion.


	3. Chapter 3: Confession and Avoidance

Chapter 3: Confession and Avoidance

The silence was broken by the sudden coughing of Jushiro. She quickly took his hand and pulling him towards her, she gently rubbed his back. Once the coughing spell had finished he leaned against her "thank you" he said quietly wrapping his arms around her.

Kushira's heart sped up as she returned the embrace resting her head on his shoulder "anytime" she whispered feeling strangely safe for the first time in a long time.

Jushiro fluctuated between healthy and ill for the next few weeks. When he was healthy he and Kushira would either be in Seireitei training, fighting off Hollows or on the off days, walking around Ugendo's garden. When he fell ill, she would stay by his side and he would recover quickly. Regardless, they spent a lot more time together.

One night when he was ill she sat on the edge of the bed gently pressing a cold cloth to his forehead while he slept. "Kushira?" he whispered, eyes closed "hmm?" "I love you." Had anyone seen this exchange they would have sworn Kushira lost all color.

Unsure of whether to reply to that or not she silently left the room. The maids all wondered about her subdued nature. The next day, Jushiro was well and they both returned to Seireitei. She resumed her position as lieutenant of the 5th division and Jushiro resumed his as captain of the 13th.

Kushira did her best to avoid him which was relatively easy based on their divisions. She would see him at meetings but was always one of the first ones to leave. It was hard watching for him in the hallways and if she did encounter him would duck into an empty room or down another hallway.

The closest call was when she saw him and she knew he saw her duck down the hallway and he followed her. She had hid in an empty room and locked the door until she was positive he was gone and she crept down the hall.

After awhile Jushiro began to realize she was avoiding him. She didn't make eye contact with him and whenever they were in meetings together she would always stand on the opposite side of the room and was usually on of the first ones to leave.

The final realization came when he saw her in the hall. When she caught sight of him he saw her become nervous and disappear down another hallway. Deciding to follow her and hopefully catch up to her he went down the hallway after her but was shocked to find that she had disappeared.

"What on earth are you doing?" Momo demanded as Kushira glanced behind her for the fifth time "you've been awfully fidgety and nervous lately" she shrugged but glanced behind her again.

Momo rolled her eyes and pulled her into an empty room "you're obviously nervous about something what is it? Spill now." "Yes Captain my Captain" Kushira said sarcastically "Captain Ukitake confessed that he loved me" she said with a sigh "and what's so bad about that? The two of you have known each other the longest out of most Shinigami" Kushira sighed "he doesn't know he said it though" Momo raised an eyebrow and Kushira explained everything.

Once she had finished explaining everything to Momo, Momo was quiet "I see" she finally said "that is kind of awkward" Kushira nodded vigorously "do you love him?" was her next question and it caught Kushira off guard.

"I-I-what do you mean?" she said green eyes startled. Momo studied her "I mean do you love him or not?" Kushira blushed "what does that have anything to do with it?" Momo looked at her incredulously "if he loves you and you love him it solves the problem doesn't it?" Kushira loved Momo's naivety and black and white view of things.

"Not really" she whispered "the last time I loved someone he turned out to be a traitor" she said darkly and Momo's eyes softened "Aizen hurt you badly didn't he?" Kushira nodded trying to hold back tears "I thought he loved me but in the end it was all a lie" she narrowed her eyes "I'm not going to let it happen again"

Momo studied Kushira "but you've known Captain Ukitake for how long? Do you really think he would do something like that?" Kushira shrugged "I didn't think Sosuke was capable of doing what he did" she said and Momo waved her hand "but you've known Captain Ukitake the longest. You guys were in the Academy together besides…I've seen the way he looks at you"

Kushira blushed "what?" Momo nodded "he can't keep his eyes off of you. Aizen was different" "how long have you noticed this?" Kushira asked and Momo laughed "since long before you and Aizen were dating…but he would look at you differently then. He would be kinda sad but now it's this look almost of longing but not quite…it's so romantic"

Kushira pushed Momo playfully "hush yourself Momo" she said laughing "I doubt Captain Ukitake would do what Aizen did. He's too honorable and too…in looove" Momo winked and Kushira blushed "admit it, you do love him" Kushira looked down "that doesn't matter" she said "I'm not going to allow anyone close enough to hurt me again"

Momo hugged her "please Kushira consider my advice" Kushira raised an eyebrow "what advice?" Momo stood, hand on hip and studied the redhead "my advice on telling Captain Ukitake about how you feel about him" Kushira blushed "I told you Momo, I can't" "you can't because you were hurt in the past and true you were hurt pretty badly but I KNOW Captain Ukitake would never do what Aizen did and if he did you would probably be the one he asks to stay by his side"

Kushira looked down "Lieutenant this is an order from your Captain" Momo said "tell Captain Ukitake how you feel or I'll do it for you" Kushira looked up "I'm sorry Captain that's one order I can't follow through with" she pushed past Momo and exited the room.

Making her way back to the barracks she caught sight of none other than Captain Jushiro Ukitake. She gritted her teeth and cursed her bad luck as he called her name. Pretending she hadn't heard him she quickened her pace. Unfortunately it wasn't enough. He appeared in front of her "please talk to me Kushira" she heard him plead before taking off in the opposite direction trying not to cry.

Jushiro let her go, knowing that pursuing her wouldn't do any good but his suspicions were confirmed: Kushira Hikamara was avoiding him and he didn't know why.


	4. Chapter 4 A Meeting and Resolution

Chapter 4: A Meeting and A Resolution

Jushiro was left wondering about why Kushira was avoiding him. He decided he needed to get to the bottom of this and make things right so he enlisted the help of her captain, Momo Hinamori.

Jushiro approached Momo one day during a captains meeting "Captain Hinamori" he said respectfully, Momo turned surprised brown eyes on him "Captain Ukitake…what can I do for you?" she asked surprised. Jushiro sat her down "I would like to speak with your lieutenant" Momo looked even more surprised despite having suspected this was coming "feel free to speak with her" she said innocently.

Jushiro took a breath "I think she is avoiding me. I would like to meet with her privately to find out what I might have done that has caused this sudden avoidance" Momo noticed the pain hiding in his green eyes and took pity on him "very well, do you have a meeting time planned?" when he said it Momo nodded "I will pass on the order" she stood up "Captain" she said and he looked up "I wouldn't worry about it too much" she smiled and walked away.

"Kushira" Kushira looked up as her captain's voice rang out "this is an order, no avoiding and no excuses. You will follow this order or will be charged with insubordination" Kushira looked surprised "what is the order?" "You are to meet with Captain Jushiro Ukitake tomorrow evening at 6 in meeting room 4"

Kushira paled "Momo I can't" Momo looked at her "you have to. I will take no excuses and if I have to I will drag you there" Kushira looked at the ground "yes Captain" she said and Momo hugged her "it's for your own good" Kushira glared at her feeling betrayed "yes _Captain_" she hissed and quickly left the room.

Six in the evening rolled around too fast for her comfort and Kushira found herself standing at the door to meeting room 4. Pushing the door open she hoped he wouldn't be there, unfortunately he was sitting in the lotus position with his eyes closed.

"You wanted to see me Captain" she said formally despite the nerves that were building up. He opened his eyes and stood up "yes, I did. I want to know why you've been avoiding me" Kushira paled "well…you see…avoiding is um…a strong word. I wasn't AVOIDING you per se I just…uh…had tasks in different areas" he studied her with disbelief and sadness "and when I asked you to talk to me you ran in the other direction"

"I had to pee" she said knowing it was a pitiful excuse. Jushiro went over to her and she backed up until she was against the wall. He stopped a foot away from her as understanding flashed in his eyes "are you…scared…of me?" he asked.

The utter devastation in his voice as he asked caused her to step towards him "no! Never!" she said and bit her lip "I've been scared yes…but not of you" at the confusion in his eyes she broke down and confessed everything that had happened.

The silence after she stopped talking was long and awkward. "Oh…" he breathed out and Kushira nodded. He moved closer and she fought not to step away "I'll tell you the truth then" he said "I have been in love with you ever since our days at the Academy" he said and her eyes widened "ever since we first met I was captivated by your personality and devotion to what you believed was right and it only grew as we became friends"

Kushira stared at him in surprise and understanding as he continued "and when we joined the Gotei 13, your determination to protect others and your unwavering loyalty and respect to both your subordinates and superiors only sealed my coffin"

Kushira took a step towards him but stopped as he continued "when you and Eishima were dating it was the hardest thing to watch. I hate to say it and I hate myself for feeling like this but when he died, of course I was saddened and never wished for it to happen but I was also relieved in a way" he took a deep breath "and then when the rumors were flying around about you and Aizen I hoped that it wasn't true"

Jushiro looked at her with pain in his green eyes "I hoped that those were just rumors and when you were both denying it I decided I had to tell you how I felt before someone else did and I lost you again" he stepped closer "but before I could say anything, Aizen was revealed as a traitor and you fell into that depression"

Kushira stepped closer as well "you were the one who helped me…you refused to let me die" he nodded "I wasn't going to lose you" he whispered. "Had I been in Aizen's position I would never have betrayed you like that. If I was going to do what Aizen did I would have brought you with me, I wouldn't have left your side"

By now they were inches away from each other and didn't even know they had been moving towards each other "you never did leave my side" she said looking up at him "despite me being so clueless you stayed with me even when you didn't think you had a chance"

He held up a hand like he was going to touch her face but let it drop at the last second "I'm so sorry I have made things awkward between us and I understand why you don't feel the same way" he turned and was about to leave when she grabbed his hand "I never said that" she whispered before pressing her lips to his.

They broke apart at the sound of clapping, turning to look out the window as about 13 or so lieutenants and captains attempted to duck below the window but it was too late. Momo poked her head up and mouthed "sorry"

Kushira and Jushiro both flushed bright red "now that…" Kushira said "was awkward" Jushiro agreed and went over to the window. He looked down and saw the Shinigami look up in unison and scatter in different directions.

Laughing he closed the blinds "this is going to be all over Seireitei" he said turning back to her. She looked embarrassed "now I understand Rukia and Renji" she said. Jushiro went over to her and tilted her chin up "on second thought" he said "this might not be a bad thing" "how s-" she was cut off as he bent down and captured her lips with his effectively silencing her.


End file.
